As Pesach comes closer, work at home becomes more and more hectic and tempers can flare, sholom bayis is affected and the simcha shel mitzvah diminishes.
Hakhel provides the following link to an outstanding Shiur on Shalom Bayis for MEN given by Rabbi Yosef Eisen, Shlita, Rav of Kollel Bnei Torah in Brooklyn.
da rebbetzin says
This shiur is nice but a bit on the theoretical side.You know what I think men REALLY need to hear?
1. This time of year, unless you’re a gadol b’Torah who’s learning 24/7, pick up a broom.
2. And don’t think you’re a tzaddik for “helping.” Don’t act like you’re doing your wife a favor. You’re doing what you’re SUPPOSED to be doing.
Housewife says
Couldnt agree more! Kudos rebbetzin!
Another Rebbetzin says
Also, it is important for wives to know, not to nag, but to use positive feedback and support of their husband. Meaning, instead of saying “why dont you get up and vaccum already!” Say, “please vaccum for me, because i know how well and thorough you do it”, and after compliment the husband, he is then liable to do more and more instead of recessing away to the unknown corners of the house. Wives need to compliment their husbands, and also of course vice versa, the husband needs to constantly recognize the ikeres habayis. But sometimes it is only one way, and we take our husbands for granted, then men, as they will do, literally recess to the far corners of the house instead of being critisized or not acknowledged and given the respect they deserve.
Irene Marocco says
Rabbi Yosef Eisen highlights several vital points in his shiur that are, of course, halachically sound, but also ring true and almost always come up in my clinical practice with couples. The differences between men and women is not simply a popular “Venus and Mars” concept, but a very real biological fact, both hormonal and physiological.The brains of men and women are very different and the differences can be seen on scans and MRI’s. Setting idiosyncratic variations aside, most men have decreased sensitivity, intuitive awareness, and memory for emotional detail, while their capacity for the concrete and logical is greater. Knowing and accepting these, (and many other) real differences allows for greater respect, appreciation for one another and also helps couples develop practical skills to achieve a more harmonious and happy life together. There is strength and richness is our differences.