(Hakhel)
With Chasuna (wedding) season upon us, it becomes necessary to once again review the Halachos of Sheva Brachos, so that we can be better guided when attending a Sheva Brachos Seudah, or being asked to be the “Panim Chadoshos”. We present below several such Halachos, as excerpted from the Sefer Oholei Yeshurun by Rabbi Aharon Felder, Shlita. As always, one should consult with his Rav or Posek for a final P’sak or in the case of any doubt:
1. If a Chasuna occurs near sh’kia and the meal cannot begin on the same day (before sunset), then the seven days begin on the following day (i.e. the day of the actual Chasuna meal).
2. If the final meal on the seventh day concludes after sunset, Sheva Brachos may still be recited.
3. It is preferable that Sheva Brachos be recited each day. Therefore, a Chassan and Kallah should not travel to places where Sheva Brachos cannot be recited.
4. Sheva Brachos may be recited at a meal in any place–as long as the meal was prepared specifically for the Chassan and Kallah. Therefore, Sheva Brachos could not be recited if the Chassan and Kallah enter a restaurant to have a private meal. Rather, if Sheva Brachos are to be recited in a hotel, restaurant or other place where people are otherwise served meals, then the people who will participate should be notified ahead of time that the meal is in honor of the Chassan and Kallah.
5. Sheva Brachos would not be recited if a Chassan and Kallah are attending a Bris, unless special food was added in their honor.
6. Both Chassan and Kallah must be present both at the meal (even if they arrived late), and at the Sheva Brachos.
7. Sheva Brachos is recited only once, even if there are several Chassanim and Kallos at the same meal.
8. A minimum of seven males above Bar Mitzvah must recite Birkas Hamazon in order to recite Sheva Brachos. The remaining three people needed for the minyan may eat a kezayis of any food or drink a revi’is of any liquid (except for water). If one had started his meal elsewhere (such as Friday night), and was asked to Bentsh with the Chassan and Kallah for Sheva Brachos, he must eat a kezayis of bread at his own meal, and he must then eat a small portion of food with the Chassan and Kallah–unless he is one of the seven people required to eat bread–in which case he must eat at least a kezayis of bread at the Sheva Brachos location. However, if he is one of the other three people needed, then he may eat a kezayis of any food or drink a revi’is of liquid (except water), as above.
9. The Panim Chadashos cannot have been present at a previous meal tendered in honor of the Chassan and Kallah, but may have attended the wedding ceremony itself.
10. If the two Kosos are not the same size, the larger Kos should be used for Bentsching, which is more chashuv. Both cups should be filled before washing Mayim Achronim.
11. If one of the Brachos was temporarily skipped by mistake, it should be recited despite the fact that it will not be in the proper order.
12. The person Bentsching should have kavana to be motzi others with his Borei Pri Hagofen, and those intending to drink (such as the Chassan and Kallah) should also have in mind that they are being yotzei with his bracha. He should drink at least an ounce of wine–and preferably a revi’is–so that he can make a bracha achrona on the Kos Shel Bracha.
Whether or not you were honored with one of the Sheva Brachos—don’t leave without giving your own personal bracha to the Chassan and Kallah!
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