(Hakhel)
Because last week’s Parsha provides the great Mitzvah of Birkas HaMazon, we provide a review of certain Halachos and Hashkafos relating to it:
A. The following points and pointers are culled from the Dirshu Mishna Berurah:
1. If one finished his meal and washed Mayim Achronim, or picked up a Kos in order to lead bentsching, he can no longer eat and drink, and should not even speak (even Divrei Torah) until he has bentsched. If the Ba’al HaBayis said “Let’s bentsch” and then someone wants to drink, he must make a new bracha on the drink. If one wants to eat, it is a Machlokes Rishonim as to whether he must make a new bracha or not. Accordingly, the Mishna Berurah rules that lechatchila one should be careful not to eat after the Ba’al HaBayis has said “Let’s bentsch”.
If, however, the Ba’al HaBayis has merely said “Let’s wash our hands”, the Ben Ish Chai rules that one may continue to eat and drink–as this is not the equivalent of “Let’s bentsch”. Similarly, the reciting of Shir HaMa’alos or Al Naharos Bavel do not in and of themselves end the Seudah, and one can continue to eat afterwards (unless, of course, one had decided that he no longer intended to eat).
2. One should leave over a piece of bread on the table while bentsching in order to demonstrate how Hashem provides for everyone’s needs, and so that the bracha of bentsching has something to rest upon (like the oil of Elisha). HaRav Elyashiv, Z’tl, rules, however, that leaving something on the table is only necessary for bentsching, and need not be done for Al HaMichya. From a reader: “The Mishna Berurah to Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 180 seif katan 4 (from G’ra) says that one should only not bring a whole loaf if there are crumbs, but if there are no crumbs, it might even be better to bring a whole loaf (Zohar).”
3. If there are crumbs left over at the end of a meal, HaRav Scheinberg, Z’tl, rules that it is better to give them to an animal than to dispose of them.
4. Although we are required to take knives off the table for bentsching (because the table is like a Mizbe’ach and items similar to items of war do not belong on a Mizbe’ach, and in order to avoid a person stabbing himself with the knife when thinking about the current status of Yerushalayim as he recites U’Vnei Yerushalayim), HaRav Moshe Feinstein, Z’tl, rules that this is not true of a spreading knife, such as a butter knife. There is a disagreement as to whether the knife must be taken off the table or can simply be covered. The Kaf HaChaim (al pi kabbalah) writes that the knife must be taken off the table, while the Steipeler Gaon, Z’tl, and HaRav Scheinberg, Z’tl, both rule that the knife can be covered–and even then only the sharp part of the knife need be covered, and not the handle. There is also a disagreement among the Poskim as to whether a knife which is not made of metal such as a plastic knife need be covered. The Shevet HaLevi, Shlita, rules that it must be covered, while the Tehillah L’Dovid rules that only metal knives need be covered. On Shabbos and Yom Tov, the Shulchan Aruch writes that it is the Minhag not to remove or cover knives on the table during bentsching.
5. Even though we do not have Melech Sedomis, which is the physical reason given for which Mayim Achronim is required, the Sefer Peleh Yoetz writes that we must nevertheless fulfill the Halachos of Mayim Achronim–for even if the physical salt which blinds the eye no longer exists and need not be washed away–we must still follow the words of the Chachomim, so that our Einei Sechel V’Nefesh–the eyes of our intellect and soul remain intact, for “the words of the Chachomim reach the Heavens–and their essence is uplifted and exalted!”
6. It is Mitzvah Min HaMuvchar for a zimun of three to bentsch over a cup of wine/grape juice–and if this is not available–even chamar medina will do. There is a difference of opinion as to what chamar medina is. It is reported, for instance, that HaRav Elyashiv, Z’tl, allowed pure orange juice as chamar medina, but that the Chazon Ish did not. Accordingly, one should consult with his Rav or Posek as to what is deemed chamar medina should he wish to use anything other than wine or grape juice for bentsching (or Havdalah). It is the opinion of HaRav Elyashiv, Z’tl, and HaRav Scheinberg, Z’tl, that coffee and tea would be considered chamar medina.
7. Although a Kos Shel Bracha must be cleaned inside and outside before use, HaRav Nissim Karelitz, Shlita, rules that if the becher was cleaned on the previous Motza’ei Shabbos, it need not be cleaned again for Kiddush on Friday night. Similarly, if the becher was cleaned prior to being put away last and is now intended to be used for bentsching, one need not re-wash the cup.
8. The kos being used for bentsching should be lifted a tefach (3-4 inches above the table), in order to fulfill the Pasuk of “Kos Yeshuos Esah”. If the kos has a long stem, HaRav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, Z’tl, rules that one can hold the kos a tefach from where the kos is attached to the stem, and not a tefach from the bottom of the stem (its base). Although the Minhag HaOlam appears to be to hold the cup only until LeOlam Al Yechasereinu, the Chacham Tzvi, the Kaf HaChaim, and the Shevet HaLevi rule that the kos should be held until one makes a Borei Pri HaGafen over it.
9. The person leading the zimun should say at least the entire first bracha out loud, and one should follow along with him in an undertone, in order to properly fulfill the Mitzvah of zimun. He should only go ahead a bit at the end, so that all can answer Amen to his bracha.
10. One must appreciate how important it is not to disturb his bentsching. As we have noted in the past, the Yesod V’Shoresh HaAvodah brings in his tzava’ah to his children that he would daven before he bentsched that nobody would knock on his door, which would disturb his concentration. In any event, one is not allowed to talk or to greet someone, and the Kaf HaChaim writes that one must treat the bentsching as the Shemone Esrei–and not even answer to Kaddish, Kedusha, or Barchu, but just listen and be a ‘Shome’ah K’Oneh’. It follows then HaRav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach rules, that one would not answer Amen to the brachos of another person bentsching together with him–except for the person leading the zimun. The Ben Ish Chai rules that once one begins the HaRachamans at the end of bentsching he can answer Amen, but he cannot speak generally.
Note: As far as what one can answer in the bracha HaTov V’HaMaitiv, see the Orach HaShulchan 183:8.
11. If a child has eaten to satiation and is unsure whether he bentsched or not, HaRav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach rules that he should bentsch again so that the child learns that when he reaches of age he should bentsch again. Similarly, if a child has eaten less the a kezayis, HaRav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach rules that if he is satiated he should bentsch–for he must learn that when one is satiated he will have a Mitzvah D’Oryasah to bentsch when he comes of age. There is a difference of opinion among authorities as to whether a child should learn and recite only one bracha of bentsching at a time, or whether the child should say a little bit from each bracha. HaRav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, for instance, rules that the child should learn one bracha at a time. HaRav Elyashiv, Z’tl, rules that the child can say a portion of every bracha, and this apparently appears to be the ruling of the Mishna Berurah as well (see Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 186, Mishna Berurah seif katan 4).
12. There is a difference of opinion among authorities as to whether a woman who ate to satiation and is unsure whether she bentsched, should nevertheless bentsch. Although the Mishna Berurah rules that the woman can bentsch, the Kaf HaChaim writes that another eitzah for her would be to make HaMotzi, eat another kezayis, and bentsch –having in mind her previous eating as well.
13. When one says Amen after U’Vnei Yerushalayim, it is in order to distinguish the first three brachos of bentsching from the last bracha–as the first three is MiD’oraysa–and the last is MiD’rabanan. However, one should not wait more than 2-3 seconds between the word Yerushalayim and Amen.
14. The Aruch HaShulchan (189:2) writes that the bracha of HaTov V’HaMaitiv, which was instituted over the fallen of Beitar being taken to burial in their complete state years later, is intended to teach us that even when Hashem is upset with us he does not leave us and still performs miracles and wonders on our behalf.
15. The Mishna Berurah writes that one should study the Sefer Eliyahu Rabbah, Siman 187, for additional Halachos relating to Birkas HaMazon.
B. The following points and pointers are culled from the Sefer VeZos HaBracha by HaRav Aleksander Mandelbaum, Shlita:
1. The Pasuk which sets forth the Mitzvah is actually recited in the second bracha of Birkas HaMazon: “VeAchalTA VeSaVAta U’VairachTA…” Hakhel Note: Just as in Kriyas Shema where the emphasis on the word ‘VeAhavTA’ is on the last syllable–the ‘ta’, and not on the middle syllable of ‘hav’(which incorrect pronunciation would change the meaning of the word to past tense), so too the emphasis on the word VeAchalTA is placed on the ‘ta’ and not on the ‘achal’ (which mispronunciation would likewise alter the meaning of the word to the past tense).
2. Before commencing Birkas HaMazon, one should have in mind or recite that he is about to fulfill the Mitzvas Aseh of Birkas HaMazon–with awe and love. From a reader: “The Sefer Shem Olam by the Chofetz Chaim reminds us that in the second bracha of Nodeh, we must remember to have Kavannah and to give thanks to Hashem for Eretz Yisrael, for Food, for our Bris with Hashem and for the Torah. The Chofetz Chaim even writes “Ba’Avoseinu HaRabbim” we say Nodeh–we give thanks without Kavannah. One should be SHTARK especially in the second bracha!”
3. While bentsching, one should feel ‘Simcha Yeseira’–an extra measure of joy, just as one would feel after having received a beautiful gift from another.
4. Lechatchila, in the first instance, one should Bentsch from a Siddur or Bentscher, and bentsch out loud, or at least loud enough to hear the words one are saying .
5. One should be sure to be respectably dressed.
6. One should bentsch while sitting, to increase Kavanna.
7. If one is thirsty, he should be sure to drink before ending the meal, for some opinions require drinking if thirsty in order to fulfill the Mitzvas Aseh D’Oraysa to Bentsch.
8. One should eat a kezayis of bread within a three (3) minute span at some point during the course of the meal, so that he will have eaten the minimum shiur required for Birkas HaMazon bichdei achilas peras. If one does not do so, than according to HaRav Moshe Feinstein, z’tl, he should not bentsch. It is for this reason that many are careful to eat a kezayis of bread bichdei achilas peras ( once again, three minutes according to HaRav Feinstein) at the beginning of the meal, rather than nibbling on bread or challah in between courses of a meal.
9. One must bentsch in the place that he ate. If one left that place, and it is possible to return within 72 minutes after his meal was completed, he should return, unless there is real reason that he cannot return, in which event, a sheas hadechak or bedieved, he is Yotzeh bentsching elsewhere.
10. Each guest should bless his host with the Birchas HaOreyach. If the siddur or bentscher given to him does not have it, he should ask his host for a siddur that does have it. It should be recited immediately after the conclusion of the fourth bracha (‘LeOlam Ahl Yechaserainu’), and before all of the other HaRachamans, as its nusach is found in the Gemara itself (Brachos 46A). (Sefardim may recite it before Migdol Yeshuos).
11. One should avoid motioning or signaling with his eyes, hands, and the like while bentsching, unless it is to stop something that is disturbing Kavanna. Similarly, one should avoid moving crumbs, adjusting his clothing, or conducting any other activity while bentsching.
12. The Pele Yoetz writes that, according to Kabbala, the four Brachos of bentsching correspond to the four letters of Hashem’s ineffable name. One should especially try to have Kavanna in the words–and most certainly when reciting the opening and closing words of the bracha.
13. If we would simply focus on the powerful words of bentsching, and would take the extra minute or two necessary to recite bentsching in the manner described above, we would gain a greater appreciation of its hallowed words. For instance, just look at the paragraph of “BaMorom Yelamdu Aleyhem V’Oleinu Zechus, Shetehey Lemishmeres Shalom–in Heaven may a merit be pleaded for them and for us for a safeguard of peace….” If one properly appreciates it, one will not try to avoid bentsching like little children do, but rather value it for the great Mitzvah D’Oraysa–the incredible privilege and opportunity–that it truly is.
14. Finally, the extreme importance of Birkas HaMazon is demonstrated by the great emphasis that is placed upon it in the Chinuch of children. It is one of the first subjects taught to children–and in a joyful and singing manner. We had asked HaRav Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg, Z’tl, whether it would be better for a newcomer to Torah Judaism to recite the bentsching in English or to listen word-for-word to the bentsching of another in Hebrew. He responded that the newcomer should recite the bentching in English. While a major reason for this may be the difficulty encountered by a newcomer in following the entire Birkas HaMazon in Hebrew, an ancillary reason for this P’sak may be so that the person who has just eaten can truly appreciate the import and meaning of Birkas HaMazon.
May our recitation of Birkas HaMazon be a time that we look forward to and anticipate–to express our appreciation with joy–and fulfill a Mitzvas Aseh D’Oryasah on top of it!
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