(Reviewed by: Naomi Berger)
Finally, a book for mothers of Jewish boys! And not just a handbook, but an engaging, lively read that covers just about every topic that is Jewish and boy-related from bris to bar mitzvah. From the first page to the last, Beily Paluch connects to you in her humorous yet down-to-earth style, presenting a seamless blend of information, tips, anecdotes and inspiration.
Can you help a baby with jaundice have his bris on time? Which homework papers are Shaimos? How can you keep track of learning hours over a Yom Tov and Chol Hamoed? What should you serve at the vachnacht? Bring along to the pidyon haben? What should a mom know if her son is a bechor? A Kohen? A Levi? A lefty? At what point is a pair of tzitzis no longer kosher? What are the parameters of peyos? Can you save a yarmulke that’s been through the wash?
These are just some of the questions addressed in the book, which also includes a full chapter on mothers and sons in the Talmud, as well as segulos for having a boy and for raising righteous sons. Other chapters discuss boys around the year (volunteering at the kapparos center, selling aravos and lulav rings, matzah baking, staying up all night on Shavuos), running a Chevras Tehillim, and organizing a fundraising carnival. Interspersed along the way are insights and observations, ideas and ruminations. They resonate in a way that leaves no doubt: the author is a member of our club!
“That’s really the way I see it,” says Beily. “When I meet someone and we discover that we are both mothers of boy families, there’s an instant connection. We automatically share our laughs and struggles, from our boys’ wacky collections to how to deal with long yeshiva days. To me, the book is an extension of those conversations, like a membership to the ‘mother of boys’ club.”
For added chuckles, empty spaces throughout the book have been filled with a collection of favorite boy moments from mothers near and far.
Boy Oh Boy! has universal appeal; it hones in on the common threads that bind us, no matter our backgrounds or geographic locations.
The book is highly informative, yet maintains a light, upbeat voice. As you read, you segue naturally from sections of tips, to paragraphs that clarify halachos, to stories that make you smile. For example, in the chapter entitled Chagim Uzemanim LeSasson, you will find all of the following (plus more!):
[Excerpts]
Kapparos: Birds of “Pray”
Squawk, squawk! You stand there in full protective gear, holding your kapparos ticket with gloved hands, ducking and dodging chickens. Your sons, on the other hand, are itching to get their hands on these very same filthy, screeching fowl.
So here’s a great arrangement: Let the boys stand in line with the tickets and come back with the chickens. In the meantime, you stand in the furthest corner, quaking and reciting “Bnei Adam.”
When we finish, my husband usually takes our boys to witness the shochet doing his thing. Although I consider that scene gruesome and would much rather gather my children and take them straight home, boys are truly a different breed, and even my most sensitive sons observe the spectacle, seemingly with no ill effects.
Do-it-yourself aravos
Have a green thumb? Growing your own aravos is really easy according to the folks at Zaide Reuven’s Esrog Farm. You can have all the aravos you want for your lulav bundle and hoshanos and you don’t have to worry about replacing them when they get damaged or dry out.
Take some willow stems and cut them into three- to six-inch lengths. Place them, the correct way up, in a jar of fresh water about two inches deep. Don’t worry if the leaves fall off . After one to two weeks you will see roots beginning to form.
When the roots are one to two inches long, plant each stem in its own pot—about two to four inches wide—with potting soil. Keep the plants very moist. After two to three weeks, transfer them to a larger pot, or, if the weather has not yet turned frosty, plant them in a sunny location, away from water pipes.
It is a hiddur to plant the aravos near a stream, since the Torah calls them “arvei nachal” (willows of the brook).
Baking matzos
A wonderful way for boys to join the erev Pesach excitement (aside from cleaning, of course) is to accompany their father or any relative who can take them along to a matzah-baking shift.
The ta’anis bechorim
Firstborn males are required to fast on erev Pesach to commemorate the fact that the Jewish firstborn were spared from death during makkas bechoros. This applies to all firstborn males, whether the firstborn of the father or mother.
It is customary for the father of a firstborn child to fast on behalf of the child until the child becomes bar mitzvah. The father is not required to fast on behalf of a child under the age of thirty days.
It is customary for a male to partake of a seudas mitzvah on erev Pesach in order to be exempt from fasting. Once he has eaten at the seudas mitzvah, his fast is over and he may eat normally for the rest of the day. Most commonly, one member of the community will make a siyum, and the other members of the shul are allowed to join and partake
of the festive meal. (See above section on siyums, in the chapter entitled “Teaching Your Son Torah,” for guidelines on what constitutes a siyum.)
One must actually attend the festive meal in order to be exempt from fasting. He may not break his fast on food sent to him from the siyum (Children in Halachah).
The Pesach Seder
Some of my children made a kittel for the Seder in kindergarten, using an old shirt of my husband’s that we were asked to send to school. I keep all these kittels in a bag from year to year and distribute them to the entire family before the Seder. The little kids are thrilled with their kittlach, and the older ones are glad to have a barrier between
their new white shirts and their four cups of grape juice.
You can easily make a kittel out of an old oversized white shirt. Cut the bottoms off the sleeves and decorate with fabric paint.
Mothers of one boy or a dozen, whether they are still young or have flown the nest, will find themselves in this book; it is at once both a reference…and a friend.
Get into the spirit by visiting Beily’s new blog, inspired by the book and the wonderful women she’s met since the book’s recent release, at boyohboyblog.com.
Leave a Reply