Instead of asking yourself what you regret, ask yourself why you regret. If you regret speaking unkindly to the plumber or to your friend or your mother-in-law, ask yourself why you regret it. If you find yourself justifying the deed (I didn’t really mean it etc.) you haven’t really come to grips with why you would have liked things to be different. You may have to look more deeply, but you will probably find that you regret making life more painful than it has to be, or that you were a source of darkness (for yourself too) rather than a source of light. Once you are in this new, usually unexplored territory, you are able to let yourself truly grow.
(from Rebbetzin Heller’s weekly Neve alumnae letter)
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